If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think people are normalizing furries
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