how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
