i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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