white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
