I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're too hungover to prance.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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