I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She bit a glass in half.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
