puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
