i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
