did you get engaged???
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize