I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
