I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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