Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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