dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
