You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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