Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
