people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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