is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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