remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
