all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize