i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
