and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
