fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
