some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
