Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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