The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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