dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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