Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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