I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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