Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
