i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
