the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
