He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
