Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
