Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize