yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
