i was rollin on her like bob the builder
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
