I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Randomize
