Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
