im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
