The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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