It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
