that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize