I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
