I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
