just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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