i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
