Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
