bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
