I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
