I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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