Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
