Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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