Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
