I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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