sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
