Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
