my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
