the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
