I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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