i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
