You're my little dorito
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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