Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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