Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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