If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i think we sleep fucked last night...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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