Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
