Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
