Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
