The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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