I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
