i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
