I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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